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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are usually followed by a “crash”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and was later evaluated by a clinician. However, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t already reached that conclusion personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been called narcissists for decades, definitions vary what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he believes many people keep it private, because of so much stigma associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like seeking admiration,” the expert explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While three-quarters of people identified as having the condition are males, findings indicates this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I tend to switch to a defensive state or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she says she and her partner “maintain an agreement where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years what is acceptable versus unacceptable to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she comments. “Nothing was off-limits when my relatives were insulting me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual explains when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy through national services (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for a year and a half: “They said it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he says. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the development of digital groups indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number